Women Oppress themselves

Below is an article I read about what woman say about each other and how they oppress themselves. I thought everyone might have heard someone say one of these comments before.

Women’s Internalized Oppression: Undermining Your Own Sexuality

By Dr. Marty Klein May 28, 2009 –

Like children telling stories about a scary old man, women criticize each other’s sexuality – from a  safe distance.

“Slut!”

It’s hit and run.

“Slut” is what women call a woman who is “too” sexual. It’s someone who can enjoy sex without being in love. Someone who admits she enjoys sex more than a woman “should.” In other words, it’s a woman who can enjoy sex the way only men are supposed to be able to.

“Look at her, all over him. Is she even wearing a bra? God, anyone can tell what’s on her mind…what is she, a nympho?”

But there are costs to this sisterly vigilance. Aware that others will be judging them, it makes women wonder if they’re withholding their sexuality “enough.” Or it makes them proud that they do. Either way, it says that repressing yourself is an important part of sexuality and relationships. And that’s a destructive idea.

Women are caught in a historical collision between the sexual values of the past and future. Religion, the media and our families are sending out contradictory messages about sexuality that are driving women crazy.

Consider: Today’s woman is supposed to be sexy, but not too sexy. She’s supposed to be responsive enough to validate her partner, but not too aggressive or hard to please. Sexual, but not lusty. Not frigid, but not quite red hot. Her sexuality should express love, not lust.

In short, she has to be sexual in just the right way, regardless of her actual feelings or needs. To conform, to be an acceptable female, women have to carefully modulate, and therefore undermine, their own sexuality.

Monitoring, labeling and criticizing other women are only a few of the many ways that women sabotage their own sexuality. Let’s look at several others; do you have a voice in your head saying these or similar self-destructive things?

* “Distrust lust; keep your privates private.”

“My mother taught me not to dress too sexy,” says one dynamic woman I know, “because I shouldn’t attract too much attention.” For years she followed this code, even as an adult.

Sexism, Strength and Dominance: Masculinity in Disney Films

WOMEN ARE SHOWN AS OBJECTS OF PLEASURE AND SERVANTS TO PLEASE MEN

Who is oppressed Muslims or Western Woman?

Man! I feel like a woman!

The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun or is?

-Is a woman having fun seen as not ladylike/manly?
-Is it Ironic that the name of the song reads MAN! I feel like a WOMAN?

A woman can have the sex appeal but can’t flaunt it without being label as a slut. She yearns the chance to be treated like a man and live for one night without being judged.

Heterosexuality and Lesbian Experience-Adrienne Rich Response

In Adrienne Rich’s article she states that yes there has been heterosexual couplings and marriages throughout history but there has also been lesbian existance. She feels that lesbians developed as a result of the repeated struggle of women to resist oppression from men. She quotes that there are emotional impulses and contemplementarities drawing women toward women even though mystical or biological preferences draw them towards men. Men overrall are emotionally unavailable so that’s why women feel they should be open to other possibilities and choices. Supposedly, the lesbian relationships recreate mother-daughter emotions and connections. I am not too sure how valid that is, how can being in a serious relationship with someone recreate emotions shared between a mother and daughter? I can see the mental connection between women are likeminded, catering, nurturing, passionate individuals. But I can understand that there is a imbalance of power of males over women so there is equal power shared amongst two women. I completely agree that men tend to exploit women labor and control their produce, control or rob women of their kids, deny or force sexuality upon women, confine women physically and prevent their movement, use women as objects, cramp woman’s creativity, and withold women from certain knowledge and cultural attainments. Even though SOME  men do engage in these acts, they are still most women’s preference in today’s society. In my opinion we will never live in a world that is completely bisexual, men want a woman’s nurturing warm embrase and women want men to dominate them, they want to feel a man’s touch, they want to cater or submit to their husband’s/boyfriend’s wants and needs. These acts that men do are overlooked, and not seen as a crime. Maybe if there was a penalty for treating women this way men would stop but since there is no penalty this treatment will always persist. Woman can choose the easy way out and date other women but mostly I see women stay in these heterosexual relationships and try to work out whatever issues they encounter.

IT’S TIME FOR A CHANGE NO MORE GENDER ROLES IN SOCIETY

IT IS SO TRUE THAT GENDER IS SHAPED BY HETERONORMATIVE VALUES! There are so many ways in which we are gendered and it is a shame that it starts at birth and stays with us until death. I have found several pictures about gender roles in society and I feel that these ideas of how a woman and man should act are backwards. It is time for a change. We need a society with no gender roles. These gender roles are limiting they are not modernized. In today’s society women play the role of both the man and the woman. Men have EVEN become stay at home dads. Some families include same sex couples. Other families contain bisexual or trans individuals. When society defines specific gender roles there becomes too much expectations about how a person of that gender should walk, talk, and act. When they do not adhere to society’s expectations they are ridiculed and labeled. Thus individuals accept gender roles just in order to fit in or feel like they belong to a social group. However, if a man or woman does not feel socially accepted, their confidence may decrease which can eventually lead to them enduring other problems such as eating disorders, depression, or even committing suicide. In the 1st picture males are the rough, strong football players while woman are more supportive, they are in the background mainly as a piece if eye candy cheering for the football players. The men are also seen as the leader, the authoritive figure who takes charge. The other male in the picture is a pilot while the woman is a server, who caters to the needs of others as a stewardess. It would be frowned up for young boys to play with dolls and for young girls to play with trucks. I know that in the Caribbean boys are called “sissy boy” if they are seen holding a doll or even worse, a woman’s purse. The last picture is about the men and woman’s sign on the bathroom door. It is also gendered. The pictures of the men are all professionals: chefs, firefighters, lawyers, or construction workers. The woman on the other hand, are dancers, swimmers, models, nurses, or house wives. These gender roles are old-fashioned, and are no longer necessary. Woman can do anything a man can do. And men are doing things that may be considered feminine.